


Three Kisses That Changed the Course of Dreamland History (and One That Did Not)

by speccygeekgrrl



Category: Disenchantment (TV 2018)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Historically important kissing, Kissing, M/M, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 08:02:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15814809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: Sometimes a kiss is important. Sometimes a kiss is completely insignificant. Sometimes you know which one it is while it's happening. Sometimes you don't.





	1. Kiss One: Zøg and Dagmar

**Author's Note:**

> So far the fic for this tag seems pretty heavily geared toward our trio of misfits. I just wanted to glimpse into some characters who haven't seen much love yet.

The first time he lays eyes on Dagmar, Zøg is smitten. She's everything he ever wanted and everything he didn't know enough to want before he met her. Beauty, she's got that in spades, and grace, and charm, but also fortitude of both body and will. The first time they speak to each other is the very night their eyes first meet, and she drinks him under the table after they steal off to his royal chambers and his royal stash of booze. He wakes up with a hangover and the unshakable resolve to make her his wife.

Their courtship is a whirlwind romance, the dashing warrior king and the bold noblewoman riding through the Dreamland countryside to slip the notice of counselors and courtiers, Dagmar constantly pulling ahead with the thrill of discovery, Zøg following her with the thrill of the chase that's only more thrilling when she allows herself to be caught. He's under no illusion that he could cage her if he tried; he doesn't want to try. She's wild and free and enchanting and he loves her more than life itself.

Their wedding is on a bright autumn day, chilly in the morning but warm by the time Dagmar walks up the steps to the cathedral and down the aisle to where Zøg is waiting for her. She's a vision in her pristine white gown that still looks dull next to the purity of her hair piled elegantly atop her head. For a moment he forgets his vows and his duties and everything except the way her blue eyes shine when he takes her hand.

"You may kiss the bride," the high priestess says, and Zøg pulls Dagmar into his arms and kisses her with all the promise of the years they'll rule together distilled into one passionate meeting of lips. When they part, he reaches up to place her delicate crown on her head, and she gives him a dangerously satisfied smile and a caress of her pale hand against his cheek. "May I present to you... King Zøg and Queen Dagmar of Dreamland!" The cathedral bursts into applause, but Zøg barely hears it when his wife leans in to whisper in his ear.

"Come on, darling, let's go make an appearance at the feast and then steal off to do what newlyweds do."


	2. Kiss Two: Odval and Sorcerio

Odval comes to King Zøg's court as a counselor to Dagmar, but it doesn't take long before he's risen in importance and confidence until he's trusted by both the monarchs. Trusted enough to bring wine to the ruling couple, making excuses for the layabout taster who's nowhere to be found. Trusted less after catastrophe strikes and Queen Dagmar is turned to stone, but Odval knows his innocence and the King needs him more than ever without Dagmar's insight on the doings of court and kingdom.

It's not long after the Queen is cursed that King Zøg brings a new face to his inner circle: Sorcerio, a wizard grey of hair and wise of aspect, charged with discovering the secret of the Elixir of Life for the King. Odval isn't sure about this newcomer or his skill set, but he still helps the wizard get set up in a tower room with all his tomes and arcane equipment.

What Odval discovers over the next few months is that Sorcerio is good-natured, a bit dim-witted sometimes, but well-intentioned for the most part. Wizards in general are a flaky bunch, always with their heads in the clouds or in their thick, dusty spellbooks, and Sorcerio is a true specimen of his type. Still, he seems to know something of the deep magics, and Odval comes to visit him in his workshop intending to find just how much he knows.

"Come in, come in," Sorcerio says when Odval knocks. "Just give me a moment." He throws a few feathers into whatever he's got cooking over a small flame, and the flask belches out violet smoke. "Hm, that's not what it's supposed to do." He dumps the whole thing out the window and Odval winces, hoping no one is walking below. "Now, what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you were interested in... matters of diplomacy." Sorcerio gives him a shrewd look and doesn't smile.

"I'm not much of a courtier," he says, and Odval's lips twitch up slightly.

"I'm not talking about the kind of diplomacy done by ambassadors and courtiers."

"Oh. Oh! Are you asking because you need me, or are you asking because you want me?" Sorcerio asks, brows waggling, and Odval rolls his eyes.

"I'm asking because the more steady hands we have steering the ship of this kingdom, the better."

"Well, that's a bit disappointing. You're quite handsome, you know." Odval blinks, taken aback by the direct compliment, and Sorcerio grins. "If you need my help, I'll give it. But I'd prefer to give you more than just my help."

"You're quite bold," Odval says, feeling his cheeks heat up. Sorcerio just steps closer and hooks a finger in the collar of Odval's robes, pulling him down to steal a kiss. " _Quite_ bold," he repeats, but doesn't straighten his posture. He's almost forgotten why he came up here in the first place.

"What can I say, I have a weakness for tall, dark, and handsome. Now, about these matters of diplomacy..."


	3. Kiss Three: Zøg and Oona

Zøg thinks that he'll never love again after having Dagmar cruelly stolen from him at the height of their happiness. But he's still a king, and a king needs a queen, and an heir, neither of which he has now. What he has is a war with Dankmire over who owns the canal that Dreamland forced Dankmire to build. Dankmire claims it as their own, since they did all the work. Zøg disagrees with this assessment of possession. In his view, making the canal be built is as good as owning it, not actually building it. 

When an ambassador from Dankmire arrives with a missive suggesting they link their kingdoms through a marriage alliance, Zøg swallows hard. Dankmirians aren't really attractive to him... they're cold and amphibian and he can't wrap his mind around _marrying_ one and siring children on her.

This lasts until he sees Oona in person. For a Dankmirian, she's lovely. Nothing on Dagmar, of course, but those luscious curves and fair hair are out of his reach evermore, the way things have been going with his search for the Elixir of Life. Oona's tall and slim and dark-haired and, honestly, Zøg has slept with less appealing human women than Oona so why the hell shouldn't he just do the right thing for his country and marry her?

This royal wedding is even more extravagant and overblown than when he married Dagmar, he thinks as he walks through the cathedral. Half the seats are occupied by Dankmirians in their stiff and formal clothing and manners, and there's whispering from the Dreamland side of the cathedral pews that goes silent when Oona walks in. She walks down the aisle slowly, and he wonders for a moment if she's going to run the other way before she makes it up to the altar, but then she's standing in front of him.

He smiles at her. She doesn't smile back.

_This is going to be a long marriage,_ he thinks, and it's not a happy thought. He got a scant handful of years with the love of his life, and now he's being tied into a marriage of political value but no love. The thought makes him queasy, or maybe it's the scent of her perfume that reeks of swamp flowers and algae.

"You may kiss the bride," the high priestess says, and Zøg closes his eyes and pretends it's the first time he's heard that phrase, that he's leaning in to kiss the plush lips of the woman he loves. The chill of Oona's lips comes as a shock that makes him gasp and draw back slightly, and her eyes narrow at him as she pulls away. "May I present to you... King Zøg and Queen Oona of Dreamland!"

This time, the announcement is met with silence. Zøg takes Oona's arm and leads her back down the aisle. As soon as they're through the doors, she sneers at him. "You are terrible kisser."

Here's to the rest of their lives, he guesses.


	4. Kiss Four: Bean and Elfo

They were on drugs and nothing you do when you're on drugs counts. Right? That's what Bean tells herself, anyways. It doesn't matter that she kind of still wants to kiss Elfo now that she's sobered up. He's... he's her best friend. This is a dumb idea. It's such a dumb idea that Luci would probably tell her to do it, although Luci seems to live for causing Elfo pain now, so maybe he wouldn't. Unless this will inevitably end with both of them hurt, in which case the demon would probably urge her full speed ahead into smooching Elfo and then laugh after they both fall to pieces.

It's not worth risking their friendship. Right? Bean has never really had a friend before, just servants and peons keeping her busy and out of her father's hair until she was old enough to stay out of it of her own volition. She hasn't had a friend, but friends don't make out. Right? That's something else. That she doesn't want to get into.

...right?

Bean sighs and buries her head under her pillow. Maybe she can just... not say anything about it, and it'll be cool. Maybe Elfo won't bring it up. Maybe Luci won't bring it up. Maybe Merkimer will sprout wings and fly around the castle towers. Maybe she's a moron. Maybe they're all idiots. Maybe it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter, as it turns out. Everything goes to shit and Bean finds herself out of options and out of time with Elfo wheezing his last breath in her arms. "Stay with me," she pleads, but he doesn't. He can't. He's gone, and nothing she could have done could have prevented this.

She carries his body the whole way back to the cathedral and lays his corpse practically at her mother's feet. Now she's lost two people she loved. Her mother, and her only real friend.

When Zøg comes in, she nearly throws Luci at him just to get him away from her. When he leaves and Luci tosses her the Eternity Pendant, Bean freezes. She's lost two people she loves, and she can only get one of them back.

The decision is obvious. Too obvious. But she can't just make it so dispassionately. Obviously, she needs to use the pendant on Dagmar. It's the only choice that makes any sense. But before she does what she needs to do, she stoops and presses a kiss to Elfo's cold cheek. "I'm sorry," she whispers, and stands to bring her mother back to life.

It's the correct thing for her to do.... Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this wasn't great, I just got the idea and had to get it out of my head.
> 
> If you have any requests or suggestions, hit me up! You can comment here or find me on Tumblr as thylakhaleesi.


End file.
